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Your dick?”“Dick jokes, really? Remind me to tell April about Missy Green.”“Oh man, fuck! Don’t even go there! No more dick jokes if you never, ever mention her name to a living soul, deal?”In third grade, Bill had heard, somewhere or other, of a way to check out girl’s panties. At recess had pulled out a round mirror about the size of a baseball and roll of tape. He taped the mirror to the top of his foot, and not five minutes later, I saw him hopping around after Missy Green, one foot in the air, trying to get it under her dress so he could see her panties.Missy, once she saw what he was doing, ran to the teacher and Bill got to go to the principal’s office. Missy, on the other hand, watched him get hauled off with a smug look on her face, then turned and announced that he was a stupid boy because she wasn’t wearing any underwear. She lifted her dress and turned in a complete circle so everyone could see she was telling the truth. She was hauled off to the office too, but all of. “My turn,” she said. “That kiss thing works nice, don’t you think?”It does.Johanna’s turn:Wedding Day. You do realize how many little girls have been dreaming of their wedding day for their whole lives. After watching Disney movies and Britain’s royalty getting married, wedding day has pretty much turned into the pivotal moment in the life of many an American girl.I think, to use one of Dad’s words, that’s bullshit. I know families that have taken out second mortgages on homes to give Little Princess a wedding that picks the tackiest and most ostentatious bits of a royal wedding and applies it to suburban America and the daughter of schoolteacher Linda and her husband Ralph, the used car king, because their daughter deserves the BEST and this is the first of twenty-six guys she’s fallen in love with and slept with and he’s actually hung around long enough to plan the wedding.Six months later the son in law is history, daughter’s bedding a new stud with interesting tattoos and the.
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